Showing posts with label sick. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sick. Show all posts

Saturday, October 31, 2009

good things and bad

tomorrow i start training for self-care in dialysis. they had tried to arrange evening sessions, but this wasn't possible, so i am taking some annual leave.

this also means a chnage of days for the next two-three weeks, so i am going on monday, wednesday and friday afternoons at one.

this is good. i should get home by about six, and to bed at a decent hour.
plus, i get weekends, even if i will be too tired and drained to do anything on a sturday night.

there are two worries, though.
firstly, all dialysis is done in a chair, and the last three times i've used a chair, i've gone flat. the last time i vomited. i hope that the fact that i haven't had to take off that much fluid would address this.

the second concern is learning to needle myself. the nurse techs have two hands and are looking straight at my arm and they still occasionally manage to hurt me. i'll have one hand and will be looking at it upside down.

still, here goes

Thursday, September 3, 2009

ouch

took 3.6 litres/kilos off last night, leaving me .9 under my target weight
nurse tech was worried as my systolic blood pressure dropped under 100 during the session. i am finding, though, that it always does. it seems to stabalise between 90-100, and rose to 123 once the needles were out
came off fine, but got bad cramps in both my legs a couple of hours later.
what i've learnt:

1) leg cramps are more powerful than sleeping pills
b) obscene language does not sound nearly as powerful if it is whimpered

Monday, August 24, 2009

lost in the supermarket

they've changed the layout of my local supermarket. its like exploring a brand new store with all the exasperation of trying to find somwething that you need

it was very confusing to someone still suffering the after effects of dialysis, and what's worse when i was in there on sunday, i felt mayself starting to go flat and had to cut my shopping early so that i could go and lie down before i fainted

so i collapsed in front of sky movies and saw shine a light, the rolling stones film. i was never a fan of the rolling stones and still aren't, but i was amazed that these guys in their sixties still
a) have extremely bushy heads of hair, and
2) are so energetic

an hour of watching them run around made me even more tired, and so i also watched the house bunny, which....no. just no.

stupid supermarket

Saturday, July 25, 2009

i've been beaten

when i was first diagnosed with my list o' diseases, i was determined that it would affect my life as little as possible. hell, i was back at work the day after i spent time in hospital for the diagnoses as well as the day i had surgery to have my line put in. i can handle this, i said.

even when i started on dialysis, i was able to do it in the evenings, so i could work full time. apart from meaning that i spent three evenings out, instead of at home,there was no change. i used to that when i was in my twenties anyway.

i was even able to incorporate the dietry changes and even (swearing and cursing) the fluid restrictions.

however, dialysis proved to be the killer. it is literally draining and the day after even with a "good" session, i am much slower than i am usually. wednesdays i can usually handle and sundays can be mitigated by sleeping in and not doing anything too strenuous. but fridays...

there are some people who dia;ysis actually makes them feel better, but i am not one of them. the issue (i suspect) is my blood pressure which tends to drop alarmingly during dislysis and stays low. thus for thursday's session, i still haven't bounced back from tuesdays. hence on friday, i feel absolutley terrible (and apparently look terrible)

everytime i stand up, i get a rush of blood away from my head that makes me dizzy. sometimes, my vision gets blurred and indistinct. i call the greying out. i couldn't concentrate on any one thing for any length of time. as it was it was getting rare for me to work a full day of friday

so, i've admitted defeat and have taken the financial hit of reducing my hours and working only four days a week. it pisses me off, as it means that i am being beaten by this thing

all i need to do now is ensure that i am doing as much work in four days that i used to do in five.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

not today

i haven't blogged in a couple of weeks as my time has been taken up with other things.

after the inorganic collection a few weeks back, i had a lot of empty space, and cds and dvds stacked in boxes. i needed bookshelves. and fortunatly, the warehouse has kitset bookshelves at a reasonable price. and being a kiwi male, putting them together would be no problem. (and i was right about that)

unfortunately, the only day i really get to do them is sunday. and sunday is not a good day for me to anything. so i've been doing it piecemeal. two weeks ago, i went to buy them, but by the time i got them home, i was too tired to put them together.

last week, i spent five hours putting them together and then was too tired to fill them up.

yesterday i did fill them up, it took longer than i expected and it turns out that i need a few more.

last night, i came out of dialysis half a kilo under my target weight. today, its raining, everytime i stand up i get a headrush and a bit of dizziness. taking a shower wore me out. i think i've done enough for this week, so i'll be watching a terrible film (superhero movie) reading a book or two and getting an early night. at this rate its going to take another month or so before everything's squared away.

still, the stuff i've done so far looks good

Sunday, June 14, 2009

epigram

a post-dialysis day has all of the fun of a hangover with none of the tedious business of getting drunk

Thursday, May 28, 2009

the karma of jokes

there is a running joke at the dialysis based on the premise that no one really wants to be there

("where do you want the needle?" i was asked last night. "in someone else's arm " i replied)

a common one is trying to finish our sessions early, you know like telling the nurse techs that when the countdown clock says 2 hours to go, it really means 20 minutes, that sort of thing. yeah, its joking but not really if you know what i mean.

last night, the guy in the bed next to mine was trying something of that sort on with jills, one of the nurse techs, when beth (another nurse tech) came up and joined in the fun telling jills that the patient was checking to see if she was a soft touch (she isn't incidentally)

"do not let him off early" says beth

i look up and decide to put my two cents in: "you'll notice," i say to jills. "that she didn't say not to take me off early"

beth turns around to me "did i hear you say you wanted to do an extra hour?"

of course i backed down immediatly. we all had a good laugh and then each of us went back to what were doing.

cut to 9.47pm as i finish my session. it had been pretty good, only my nurse-tech shelley had worried when my bp dropped below 110 and dropped my blood flow to 350ml/min. (i've been pushed up to 400ml/min since i saw the specialist last week).
but this is when the problems start. first of all when the needles are removed, it takes ages to stop bleeding (as the needles go directly into an artery, you can imagine that there is a lot of blood). when the needle is eemoved there are two band aids and a special piece of material put over the resulting hole. i get a piece of gauze and press down hard on it until the bleeding stops. ususally this happens afeter 2.5 to 3 minutes, but last night it kept bleeding for five minutes. on each needle.

after the bleeding stops they do a final check on my blood pressure to check that i'm not going to faint on my way home. shelley does things by the book (101 ways to delay your patints getting home) and so insisted that i do this check standing up. bad move, as i stood up, everything started getting blurry and my bp came out at 95/36. so i did it again, sitting down. 88/33 and again. 86/30. and so it went. i had a bit of water and eventually, shelley got another needle and put 200ml of fluid back in. eventually my bp climbed to 108/45. "thats close enough" i say, grab my laptop and run (well, shuffle slowly) out of there.

as i'm leaving, i pass beth and note that the time is now 10.55. i had indeed spent an extra hour there

"i'm sorry" i say to her "i'll never joke about leaving early again"

Sunday, May 17, 2009

health status

its been a weekend of medical professionals

on friday, i saw my gp-nothing too major, just a "hi-how-are-you-that-will-be-$39.00-please" thing (and a 45 minute wait)

on saturday, my case manager looked in during my dialysis session, but we mainly talked about music. he is looking for a copy of metallica's black album. i'm always a little worried about medicos who are heavy metal fans-i'm scared that one day i'm going to fall unconcious during a session and wait to hear a doctor say "accept this sacrifice, oh dark lord"

this morning, i went to see the specialist and the dietician for reviews on my case.

my anemia is worsening slightly, do my recormen is increasing to 2 injections per week

my blood pressuere has reduced, but a little to far. it was 90/60 this morning, so my bp medication has been cut in half

phosphrous and calcium are fine (said in doubtful tone) so no change there, but they still want to cut my throat open to play with my glands-i said no.

happy pills are not having the effect hoped for, so that dosage has doubled as well-i think they are determined to get me playing the happy game (if you remeber pollyanna)

the lukeamea is still asleep

the dietcian seemed cautiously pleased with my project-she did a quick check on my typical menu and seemed to have no problem with it

the two issues were fluid intake, which is mostly under control. but there was a warning to watch what i eat-fluid hides in food; and exercise.

i said that the principal problem with exercise was that i was either on dialyis or recovering from dialysis. they are hoping that the reduction in bp medication will stop me from feeling as wretched on the post dialysis days.

i restocked my meds and as out after an hour and a half.

as usual, i am using the low bp as an excuse not to do anything else today

Saturday, May 9, 2009

a fluid situation

there has been some confusion over my dry weight
you see, since i'm not expelling fluid naturally, at least not in the volume i used to, dialysis has to do it for me. the problem is, i still need some fluid to keep the body functioning. so i have to aim for a target, or dry weight.
as you can probably imagine, estimating the dry weight is by no means an exact science. you only know when you've got it wrong when the patient passes out or gets cramps in their legs.

after my incident last thursday, the put my dry weight up,bout, as i said there seems to have been some confusion as to what it should be.
tuesday's session wore me out, and while i felt fine after thursdays's seesion, on friday i greyed out a couple of times. i didn't faint, but for a couple of moments there it felt like a distinct possibility.

we have now settled on a number-138, and i came out of last night's session at 138.8.

the next step is to reduce my dry weight, since according to the bmi calculation, my ideal dry weight is 115. more sacrifices ahead, i guess.

oh, i'm feeling fine today, or i would be if the neighbour hadn't decided to do a little gardening with a chainsaw

Saturday, May 2, 2009

up and down and down again

i had a bad session on thursday.
they put me in a chair, which seems to hate me because everytime i get put in a chair i go flat

so with an hour and a half to go, i start getting cramps, so i try to adjust the chair so that i can put me feet on the floor.
i blink, and when i open my eyes again, there are four nurses standing around me and an oxygen mask over my face. and i still have cramps. and then i throw up.

so, as you can imagine, friday was a bit of a write-off. i felt seedy all day and for some reason my knees weren't working properly.

so, as you can imagine i approached last night's session with some trepidaton. as indeed did the nurse-tech. i was in a bed and only targeted 3.5l (i usually try to do 4 on a saturday)

the nurse-tech hovered, taking my blood pressure every 45 minutes and asking me if i was alright everytime i cahnged position on the bed.

my arterial line kept clogging, so i reduced my blood flow to 300 ml/min after and hour and after my bp dropped to 103/39 (which is about average for me during a session) she reduced my target to 3.1l.

i kept telling her that i was fine and i was. it was adrian in the chair(!) next to me who started going flat, although she never passed out.

i did my four hours, came off at 120/47 and felt fine

up until this morning when i was hanging my washing out on the line, and my bp took a sudden drop and i had to sit down before falling over.

i now have an excuse not to do anything else for the rest of the day. there is always an upside.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

I smell winter

so, it's 1.30 and i'm sitting at my desk wondering whether to start one big job, or do a bunch of small ones when the dialysis unit rings me. they say that someone on the afternoon shift hasn't turned up, so do i want to take the early slot.

resisting the urge to ask if i can just not turn up too, i say that i will take it.

my estimation that i would be there is 45 minutes turned out to be a little optimistic; a combination of people leaving early for the long weekend and rain turned the motorway into a slow moving river, and once i got there, largely due to a blood pressure machine that just wasn't working properly (79/36 with a pulse of 240 my arse) i didn't get on until 3.

not a bad session, although the bottom needle wasn't sitting properly and so fell out when they took off the sticky tape, i got a good clearance-brief cramp but was nowhere close to going flat.

i got out at quarter past seven. the rush hour was just about over and the temperature had dropped so that when i breathed in, i could taste the oncoming winter.

ironic that the one thursday when it did't matter what time i came off, i got home early

have a happy easter

Saturday, March 28, 2009

come on and make me happy

well, its official. i've been diagnosed with clinical depression and have been diagnosed happy pills.

to be precise, its a pill called citalopram and a quick trip to wikipedia tells me that the side effects can include nausea, insomnia and impotence

i should be happy in no time with that little lot

Sunday, March 15, 2009

sniff

it is said that you can tell whether a person is high or low maintenance by seeing how they react to the sniffles.
if they insist its just a cold, they're low, if they say they have the flow, they will be more trouble than they're worth.

anyway, i have pneumonia...

have just seen a news item on the drug p. tv3 have done a sting operation showing how easy it is to buy the base drug psuedoephadrime-commonly found in cold medicine.

i need cold medicine. does this mean that if i buy a packet of codral, i'll be followed by the police?

Thursday, March 5, 2009

paging doctor peckinpah

in an ongoing quest to make myself feel less helpless during my dialysis sessions, last night i took my own needles out.

as i've already mentioned, i've been moved up to the purple needles which have a wider bore and longer tubes. (it also means that i can get my bloodflow up to 350 ml/min, which i also did last night-not entirely successfully)
the longer tubes mean that i can actually grip the end with my fingers.

now to take the needles out, this is what happens. when you've been disconnected from the machine, you remove the sticky tape that holds the needles in place. you then pull the needle halfway out, put on a couple of band aids. now, get some guaze ready in your right hand, then grip the end of the tube with your left hand fingers, ignoring the fact that as you've been holding your left arm still for 4 hours and the blood in thatt arm has been going on a detour through a large piece of machinery, so that you've lost a lot of feeling in it.
now, slowly pull the needle out, while quickly pressing the gauze over the whole where the needle was. quickly is the operative word. remember that the needle was plugged into an artery, so the blood will flow quickly. don't worry, its all a matter of timing.
once the hole from the top needle has stopped bleeding, repeat on the lower needle.

last night i did this for the first time. the blood was everywhere

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

look blue go purple

i've been upgraded to the purple needles which are wider
so i should get a better clearance.

the biggest prblem at the moment is the humidity which is hovering around 90-100%
i don't know whether i'm sweating because of the heat or because i'm about to faint

Saturday, February 7, 2009

any excuse

sunday.
weather fine and hot
could go to the beach
or to the lantern festival at albert park
or watch the regatta on the harbour
or into town to buy an ice cream and trawl the market in aotea square

but

last night my vascular needle leaked and it took my forty-five minnutes after dialysis to get my blood level over 100/30

so i'm just going to lie here for a while

Saturday, January 31, 2009

happy anniversary

it was a year on friday since i started dialysiis

to celebrate, last night i got cramps and low blood pressure

i'm spending today in front of the tv with volume way down

1409 is on sky. good thing i got all my cleaning done yesterday

Sunday, January 18, 2009

one less drug

got the results of my monthly bloods on saturday
i am no longer anemic, my haemoglobin having risen to 130 something
this means that i no longer have to inject myself with recormen
am still on fluid restrictions, though